I’ve had the privilege of being able to work with adults and children throughout my career. While most adults understand the idea of “talk therapy” (the more formal term being “psychotherapy”), caregivers will often ask me “so how do I explain therapy to my child” or if a parent would like to bring his/her child in to therapy, “how do I explain who you are and what you do?” Understandably so, almost all parents want to know what I say to their child when I meet them for the first time. Even more importantly, sometimes children who are brought into therapy by their parents often wonder and worry that they are in trouble or have done something wrong. Needless to say, I try my best to address that worry immediately.
I call myself a “feelings doctor.” Some clinicians will use “therapist” or “counselor,” but I find that to be confusing for children because it still does not tell them what happens in therapy. I explain that “I’m not the kind of doctor to give you medications or shots,” and that usually relieves some tension. I say that I’m a feelings doctor because “when you come to see me, we talk about feelings.” This usually segues into a conversation about what feelings are, which is a good chance for me to assess the child’s emotional vocabulary and his/her emotional awareness. We may draw pictures, act out feelings, use puppets – all in the service of starting to feel safe in expressing all different kinds of emotions. We talk about “big feelings” that can sometimes get in the way. The most important message I try to convey to the child (and all of my clients) is that ALL emotions are valid. There are no good or bad emotions – just ones that make us feel comfortable and uncomfortable.